A Step-By-Step Guide Through The 5 Levels of Litness
Since the dawn of mankind there has been but one question that has escaped the bounds of human understanding, that has troubled all the great thinkers and philosophers of our time, a simple quandry stated in three words, is it lit?
Socrates himself struggled to quantify litness, pondering endlessly the essence of lit. What makes something lit? Is it a sound, feeling, vibe, or energy? Is it tangible or theoretical? Well today I’ll try to answer this age old question, and solve the rest of the worlds problems while I’m at it.
So join me on this journey, and discover if your favorite song is indeed lit.
Level One: Not Even A Spark
This level encompasses any song from Nickleback or that you can sing along to at a Karaoke Bar, and anything your Tommy Bahama sporting dad might listen to. If you can conceivably listen to a song and fall asleep, it resides in this category. These songs generally involve older white men singing and an abundance of guitar. Live instrumentation is for the washed, fam.
If you find yourself listening to something like this beware: 🚫 IT IS NOT LIT 🚫.
PS: Yes, this includes the Beatles “goo goo g’joob”.
Level Two: Starting to Catch, but not yet
Level two isn’t the worst, these songs might be your guilty pleasure or a nostalgic jam from your middle school days. The party won’t go up to these tunes, but they also won’t completely kill the vibe. You might find some My Chemical Romance in here, or a little Panic! At The Disco, maybe even some 90’s rap from your homie who only likes Real Hip-Hop™.
At the end of the day though, these songs are still relegated to spot duty at a truly lit function, serving only as a change of pace. If you listen to songs on this level too much, you risk becoming wildly lame.
Don’t become wildly lame.
Level Three: First Light
Ahh level three, we’re getting there guys I promise. This is our first level that has a degree of litness to it. Not mind-blowingly turnt mind you, but there’s something brewing. You can find some gems here, like ‘Buy U A Drank’ era T-Pain, or Ginuwine, solid songs that can facilitate your turn-up but won’t solidify it.
This level is also reserved for squad specific jams that your crew might get faded to, but aren’t universally loved. Enjoy these in moderation, unlike the drugs that will surely accompany them.
Level Four: Is It Lit?
We’re on the verge of lit fam, just bordering greatness, like how Canada borders the United States. We’re that close, but still outside the transcendantly lit. This is where stuff like Kendrick’s ‘Swimming Pools’ lives, a song that could be lit, but is held back by an aura of contemplation and thought. If you have to think about lyrics it’s decidedly not lit.
Also located here are cuts like the Weeknd’s ‘Often’, content wise sort of lit, but held back by a slow pace or a lack of thumping production.
Level Five: Oh It’s Lit
Alright enough words, I’ll just let you listen to what lit is: